"I don't do pain..."

When cleo and I first "met" online, in a D/s chatroom, we were drawn to each other, although quite what by I am not sure. We knew nothing about each other, at that time, and of course one has so little to go on because we only show what we want others to see online.

However I do remember that one of the very first things she said to me when we began talking "seriously" was "I don't do pain". Right. Well of course we take those things on board, and when we met face to face and began our D/s relationship in real life this was something which was very much in my mind: you know the thoughts: "dont hurt her, you'll put her off" etc etc.

This was the case to start with, and the application of pain as part of play was something which we steered well clear of. However we are not ones to leave stones unturned, and our thoughts advanced to the idea of creating mental states and mindsets which are only achieved through the application of pain. This was done carefully and over a period of time, so that nothing too intense or shocking happened too quickly.

Now nearly 3 years after cleo uttered those words "I don't do pain" I can categorically state she lied! She is the worst pain slut I know and long may it continue.

Accept the Inevitable.

Relationships have to move, and grow, or of course they become stagnant, and futile. Ours has never been like that, as we always try to keep it moving and interesting, building new ideas and thoughts into what we do.

For some reason this last week or so we have taken probably the single biggest step in ours since the initial move to 24/7. We have through a series of changes to how we live and interact sort of "rebranded" MG and cleo. Very much in the vein of a product launch: new ideas, new packaging; same basic ingredients but with a new approach.

What the hell is he on about you are saying. We have taken the relationship to a new level (for us at least) by accepting the inevitability of our relationship being more M/s than D/s. While the D/s is of course a thread which runs through us both the M/s tag allows us to be more expressive of what we really feel. To be honest its like a whole new lease of life. Cleo for some time has wanted more, and for me, old dinosaur that I am, it takes me a while to get my head round the notion of something new. By God though when I do, I really do.

So we are Master and slave (rather than sub) from this point forward. This all revolves around the taking of more control on my part, and the giving up of same by cleo. Eventually our lives will be controlled by me totally, and cleo will accede to that over time. It's not easy to give up something you have had for your whole life but it has been easier for cleo than I thought it would. This new level in our life has given both of us a new perspective too: it's far easier now to reinforce daily the roles we each have.

To all intent and purpose we as people have not changed but what we have done is increased the intensity of the way we live, within our D/s, and this has meant we can better maintain Master and slave status daily. We have made some changes in the way we actually live our daily life: cleos place now is much more as a slave to my needs: to see that my wants are met. Our lives are now intertwined in such a way that they cannot and will never be separate again.

I seem to have assumed this much more controlling personality, how or why it happened I do not know, but the control and the submission feed off one another. Sparks fly much more than ever before, and allow the exploration of the hidden depths in ways and means we never thought possible.

We have already developed one or two rituals, at certain points in the day, and are looking at adding others. What is the reason? Simple! To further define the choices we have made about our lives. I seem to have developed this rather sadistic kink (I suppose it was always there, but it has just escaped) which manages to feed cleo's matching need for pain and control. This is going to become more and more part of us both in the future. I require: cleo does.

I am going to write lots more stuff about this over the next weeks but for now lets just say I am very pleased to have taken this first step.

Old Crocks and Bunny Rabbits.

With the advent of middle age we all find ourselves suffering from those aches and pains that accompany advancing years. Knees, backs, arms, and all kinds of places we never even thought about begin to make their presence felt. This of course is something we all have to accept, but in the case of someone who may have just found a new partner, and who wishes to act like a "bunny rabbit" by continuously proving their libido is still active it can become a real problem. While we don't think we are getting old, our bodies tell us otherwise, and exercise of a sexual nature can highlight these aches to such a point that we wish we hadn't done it "with our leg up there".

Do we learn from this? Of course we don't. We still come back the next time and do the same things, subsequently waking up in the middle of the night in agony, unable to sleep, and fumbling around in the medicine cabinet for the pain killers. Now, if we were sensible we would consider the consequences before we became bunnies, but of course we do not. Our prime objective is to achieve the satisfaction that comes with sexual gratification. When that is happening everything else is excluded from our minds.

It would appear that it's very much a case of "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" because our libido remains, and becomes the driving force. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless and who was unhappy in her relationship, told me that she often wished her ex's sex drive would subside. That way she would not have to go through what was becoming a chore with him or at least do so less and less. She was told that the male sex drive never goes away, and at that time she had to face perhaps another 30 years of unwanted sexual athletics with someone whom she had no feelings for. She left him.

Of course then what do we all do? We meet someone else, and we take on the role of bunny rabbits again. We lust after our new partner, and the whole aches and pains thing starts again.

For my part, I have endured a bad back for some 25 years after having an operation when I was in my early twenties, and now, after almost any form of exercise I suffer with an inability to walk upright, or get comfortable in any position. Does this stop me assuming the proportions of a huge and singleminded rabbit as often as possible? Does it 'eck.

If we were logical about all this we would take care about how and when we do these things, but sex is not based on logic, it's about lust, and immediacy, and now. We all know what the results will be, and even so, we ignore them.

Still, rabbits never were that clever were they?

Always Have a View

Every person in this lifestyle has certain likes and dislikes. It's unlikely that all of those would ever coincide exactly with somebody elses. If we are lucky we might find someone who has very similar needs and wants, and likes and dislikes.
What I think is importanmt though, is that each person (and this is true for life itself, not just D/s) should always have a view on everything. If someone says "Why don't you like doing that?", it's not really enough to say "Because I don't". We should be able to explain why we dont. Now of course it may be that whatever thing this is we have not actually experienced ourselves, but that does not stop us from thinking about it, examining it, understanding it, and making at least a decision based on what we DO know.
Subs who fall into the clutches of unscrupulous Doms may well fall into this category: they have never actually thought about whether they really want to do something or not, and why. So they go along, and they get hurt, or their expectations are not met.
If they had just taken time to think about things beforehand they may well have been in a stronger position to know they were being duped, or led astray.
So, my point here is that EVERYONE should always have a view on things, whatever they are. We should all develop our own D/s philosophy, so that if challenged we at least have a reason for reacting the way we do.