Love Hurts

Whatever people say, deep down we all know that Love is an important emotion within our lives. Some will of course dismiss it as a failing, and believe that to be tough, and not demonstrate emotion is a better way. How wrong can they be? Some of the most brilliant and highly thought of people in History have done what they did through love.

Having said that, to allow ourselves to show these emotions often makes us feel off guard, without any defences, and vulnerable. We often feel that we might "lose out" to the tough unemotional types in many ways. In the short term this might be the case, but for those of us whose lives are enriched by love, we gain far more than we lose.

I found my cleo only some three years or so ago and she has changed my life. I never knew that anyone could love me so much, and I certainly never thought I could have the feelings that I have for her. One often hears of these couples who cannot bear to be apart, but we don't often meet them: we are one such couple. When I go to work, and right now I have to work very long hours because of the job I do, I hate leaving the house, and I loathe every minute away from her. I cannot get back home to my cleo quickly enough. Each day i have to tear myself away to leave for work, and I look for the smallest opportunity to not go! Of course i do go to work because I have promised to support her and her children, and I do this happily. A contradiction in terms but one which i hope is clear depending upon which perspective you look at it from.

We get the most incredible "buzz" simply from being together; not even doing anything special, but just in each other's company. Unfortunately what this does is make it harder and harder to leave when the time comes. This then is where the Love Hurts idea comes in. It's almost a physical pain when i leave, and that pain remains with me all the time I am away. If it's possible for a 48 year old Dominant, with a high pressured job to "pine" then that's what I do. Only when I am home and in the comforting presence of my slave and lover am I happy, and the pain stops.

I was married for 20 years before I met cleo, and while i thought I "loved" my ex.. I know now that I didn't love her like I do my cleo. Our love and affection for each other transcends anything else that this tough old world can throw at us, and as such we are strong enough to come through whatever challenges there are. We meet them head on, together, in mutual support, with one mind, and in a way that I could never have believed was possible.

It is sometimes traditional that a Master places his mark on his slave, and we are no exception to that. Although we did not rush into it earlier this year cleo had a tattoo placed on the base of her spine. The tattoo is 2 chinese characters that tranlate as "Love Hurts". At the time it was a rather tongue in cheek reference to our D/s, but as a symbol of submission too it works well. We know what the characters mean, but others simply see it as a design not unlike many that you see these days. I did write about the tattoo in my weblog at the time, you can read the piece here .

So all in all, while we must accept the inevitability of the things we have to do, like work, and being away from home at certain times, it helps, in my view if we admit that we love someone so much that we don't really want to be away from them. Every minute is precious with my cleo, and every minute away is a minute lost that might have been spent in her company.

Continual Improvement

As owners of Seekers, and all the attached subdomains, we have always prided ourselves on creating sites that served a purpose, and had good information. One of the problems with having several sites, is that its very easy for them to be "stand alone" and visitors to one site rarely get the opportunity to see another. Well, this weekend we have done something about that. Seekers home page now has links to all the sites we run.

Look at the new Seekers.org.uk: Home page.

I have to say I am very proud of how the new page looks, and how it works, as I believe few non-professional designers could create such a clean page design as this. As always cleo and I work on these projects as a team. We are a team in everything we do. Teamwork is all important. To achieve that of course you need understanding and communication: both of which we have in abundance. In my personal site Presence of Mind , I have begun to expound my own philosophy on D/s. Most of it is basic common sense. Click here to read it.

What it boils down to is that we have to have an understanding of our partner, and ourselves, and find ways that both our needs and wants can fit together to be mutually satisfying. As with anything if one or the other of you is not satisfied, or fulfilled then the relationship is doomed to failure.

Sometimes of course that understanding can be stretched to the limit. Take this weekend, for example. We had an opportunity to play on friday evening (no kids, no work) but it slipped by, yet again. Why? not sure, except that it just didn't happen. I know that cleo was upset we didn't manage to do anything, but even so, I know she accepts that if the mindset is not right, it won't happen. She herself has had times like this. Try as you may, you just can't get the right effect from whatever the stimulus is. Still, I am thankful that our relationship is one which is so strong that these times of struggle will never dent what we have. For that I have to thank my cleo, for her support, and love, and encouragement. Our lives are one long round of trying to improve what we have, often against all the odds, and circumstances over which we have little control. Very like our web designing though, we are always looking to make things better, and if we dont get there first time, we will keep trying till we get it right. The seekers site is a good example. We are always looking at it to see if we can make it better, and always ready to try new things, to see if they work. This is much like our D/s, we will always try new things, which seem to be mutually worthwhile, and which may just add an extra something to that which we already have. Mind you, it doesnt get much better than this!!

Thank you slave!